Friday, June 26, 2009

A Purpose-less Friend?

How do you weed out unneccessary people in your life? I believe its true; you grow out of friends like you grow out of underwear, only growing out of underwear is much easier to do, when you're done with them, you simply throw them away. But is it fair to do that with your friends? Why do we feel obligated to keep people in our circle who continue to prove themselves purposeless in your life?



I believe one does themself an extreme disservice by allowing unneccassary individuals to crowd thier life. There is no book for dummies about how to get rid of a bad friend..do you just stop calling? Duck them long enough, until they get the picture? Maybe, however is that fair to the friend? Another avenue to embark upon is; honesty. "Hey friend, i thought i'd tell you; Im just not that into you anymore! The truth is a friendship is just like any other relationship and it takes honesty, communication, and a strategic planning to bow out of one.
According to Suite101.com; Here are all the signs that you are in a friendship thats bad for you. (Article by Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen)

How to Know if Your Friendship is Unhealthy

  • You might consider ending a friendship if:
  • You don’t feel respected, and your friend doesn’t seem to hear your concerns. For instance, they may be constantly late meeting you and then disregard your feelings. Or they borrow money and neglect to repay it, or borrow items and return them broken or not at all. Ending those unhealthy friendships may be better for you.
  • You can’t speak your mind honestly, or can’t find space in the conversation to speak at all (healthy boundaries don't exist with bad friends).
    You leave your visits feeling depressed, frustrated, exhausted, depleted or angry. A friend should leave you feeling happy, content, connected, and hopeful. A bad friend makes you feel bad.
  • Your friend behaves immorally, unethically, illegally, or in any way that runs counter to your beliefs and values. Ending friendships may be the best thing for both of you.
  • Your friend never makes the effort to call or visit you. You find yourself reaching out, with minimal success. Sometimes you don't even need to formally end a friendship with bad friends, it just happens naturally. Unhealthy friendships often die a natural death.
    You're friends with an energy vampire (a type of bad friend). Ending unhealthy friendships could protect your well-being.

Full Article: http://psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/losing_a_friend_on_purpose

Papa wants to know: How do you end Unhealthy Friendships?

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